Shut Up and Kiss Me
by Rantzilla
Summary: Naruto will not stop talking. And talking. And talking. Will Sasuke's patience outlast Naruto's never-ending speech about nothing? One-shot.


Ahhh. Oh God.

This has to be one of the most _cliché _one-shots I've ever come up with. Mostly because of the title.

I'm somewhat ashamed.

BUT.

I finished the first chapter of one of my four multi-chapter fics! :D So my pride right now overruns the shame.

Anywho, let's move on to the NaruSasugoodness, shall we?

I'm in a LOVELY mood! I read the absolute best NaruSasu fanfic! Even though it wasn't finished, it was totally amazing. It's called 'Stereotype? No, Thank You' by squishtheorange. Check it out? Or not. :D

Andy wanted an M-rated one-shot. Sadly, I suck at sex scenes. And I don't enjoy writing them. Sorry, Andy.

Andy: …D:

* * *

**Shut Up and Kiss Me**

It was a peaceful day in Konoha. The birds of early spring chirped happily, roosting on the budding leaves of flowering trees. Bees buzzed and collected their precious pollen, butterflies fluttered, bugs called for a mate, and the sun shone gaily, smothering the inhabitants of the village in comfortable warmth.

What on _Earth _could disturb such a peace?

Sasuke Uchiha had an answer to that.

The response to such a query is simple, and it is summed up in two basic words:

**Naruto Uzumaki.**

Though many other citizens of the calm town were at peace, Sasuke most certainly was not.

Attempting to read whilst being chatted up until your ears bled is not idyllic for anyone, really. Which is exactly why Sasuke was currently brooding, having read the sentence 'oh, sweet sorrow, 'tis unbeknownst to the quarrels amongst lovers that silence is key to love, lust, and marriage,' over and over for the past twenty minutes. Though his eyes saw the words, his mind was somewhere else.

Considering the blonde sitting next to him could not seem to find it in him to shut his trap, Sasuke's brain was set on the blonde's destruction, wishing ill upon him with each passing second.

In fact, if Sasuke didn't like the kid so much, he might actually go through with the things he was secretly threatening Naruto with in his mind, but the little annoying dumbass had grown on him.

Grown on him in a _permanent _sort of way, if you catch his drift.

Like how a mother grows on a son, only Sasuke's relationship with Naruto reaches a bit… how you say… deeper?

To put it plain and simple: They're in love with each other.

Naruto is an idiot. It's obvious he is. Which is exactly why he has convinced himself that it is a _brotherly _bond and nothing more.

Sasuke, however, is not so dense. And though he denied it at first, he is quite certain of his feelings now.

He is _in love _with Naruto.

It sounded weird no matter _how _many times he said it.

But it was the truth.

Sasuke Uchiha had fallen in love with the biggest idiot and loudmouth in Konoha.

Oh, lucky him.

Everyone else already knew of his secret love- so even Sakura and Ino backed off.

But the oblivious stupidity of Naruto knows no bounds- so he has yet to realize that his feelings are reciprocated.

Which is why Sasuke had been trying extra hard lately to spend time with Naruto in an attempt to get the blonde to realize his own feelings, if he had any.

This is why he was putting up –or trying to- with Naruto's unrelenting chatter.

Which had now been going on for…

Sasuke glanced at his wristwatch,

Two hours!

Sasuke's fingers clenched tighter on the book in his hands, stretching the pages dangerously.

"…and the Arabian said 'oh, did I do that?' and I was like 'yeah you did!' and he was like 'no, I didn't!' And I was like 'uh, yeah, ya did.' And _he _was all like 'no I didn't!' and he was getting all up in my grill, do you know what I'm saying? That guy was like seriously all over me and oh my god what if he was molesting me? Oh now I just feel like punching that guy right in the gut! The nerve of some people! I knew Arabians were weirdos, ever see that Disney movie, Pocolontas? That chick was weird, she talked to trees and stuff! And she had a fox and huntingbird following after her! And that guy Justin was like stalking her! Oh! That reminds me of that singer um… Justin Tinderlake! He's so stupid! Ugh! Why do all the girls like him? Like Sakura! He's just a stupid rich singer. I don't even like his songs! They suck! Like that one! He is _not _bringin' Texas back! I don't even know what that means! And holy _crap _blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! Blahblahblah BLAH! Blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah?"

No, Naruto had not begun saying 'blah' repeatedly, but this is about the time when Sasuke's anger hit boiling point, and the voice just faded into oblivion as Sasuke shook in too-long-suppressed rage.

"Naruto…" Sasuke spoke softly, coldly, venom dripping from every syllable as he spoke the name.

"…and the guy is _barely _fifteen, I mean, if _I _were him…"

"Naruto," hissed Sasuke, a bit louder, eyes focused unblinkingly on the printed black ink of the page, though he didn't see any words. The sound of tearing paper was barely audible above the consistent talking of the blonde, and though Sasuke heard it, he could no longer find it in his self control to care what he did to his purchased literature.

"And it's like I wasn't even there! How rude, right? I mean, the guy's party was barely…"

"NARUTO!" bellowed Sasuke, ripping the two pages he had in a vice-like grip for the past hour out with a resounding 'TSSF,' and effectively shocking the blonde into silence.

The infuriated and over-the-edge raven-haired teen stood up abruptly, knocking over the white lawn chair he had been sitting on in the process. It laid on its back in the green grass, where Naruto watched it apprehensively, before looking up into absolutely seething obsidian eyes.

Sasuke had rounded on him, and Naruto had proceeded to sink back as far as he could go into his own orange chair as Sasuke advanced, with tanned arms still resting tensely on the arm rests.

The furious teen was glaring ice-coated daggers at the frightened blonde before him, and he began to speak as he moved in closer and closer to Naruto.

"I _don't _know what you're saying, that guy _wasn't _molesting you, it's _Pocahontas_, Pocahontas is an _Indian_, the things that follow her around are a _raccoon_ and a _hummingbird_," Sasuke paused in his smoothly spoken yet oddly threatening speech, and slipped his hands over the blonde's wrists, successfully trapping him to the lawn chair, and continued leaning in. "The man's name is _John_, it's _Timber_lake, he's bringing _sexy _back, crap can _not _be holy, and no, _he did not have sex with that woman._"

By now, Sasuke was practically on top of the trembling blonde, straddling him with noses centimeters apart.

Naruto gulped.

"I have sat through your incoherent babble for _two hours_. And it has gotten me absolutely _nowhere _with you," whispered Sasuke menacingly, taking very deep and very enraged breaths.

Naruto's eyes were wide and swimming with fear, alarm, and though he would never admit it, arousal.

Suddenly, Sasuke smirked, "whassa matter?" he mocked. "Fox got your tongue?"

"S-s-sasuke, I…"

"Shut up and kiss me, idiot."

Kiss they did.

For a good two hours!

It kind of made up for the earlier talking on Naruto's part.

Sasuke never did find the peace that everyone else had managed to achieve that beautiful, sunny, and now very _hot _day.

Nope.

He found something about ten times better.

_A lover._

Within the second hour, Naruto's back collided with the table that had been temporarily placed between the two chairs. It fell over with a clatter, and lemonade coated grass all around the damage zone.

A few feet away from the frenching males, a liquid seeped through thin, torn paper, specifically on one simple line.

'_O, love! Quarreling couples do find incessant joy in the lips of another, silence is golden, but a kiss is forever._'

* * *

I'm not happy with how this one turned out.

Yes, I _did _attempt Shakespearean speak. FAIL. How did they TALK back then?

And no, those aren't lines from any book, I completely made them up.

This was meant to be _much _more simple. Short and sweet.

But I guess I built on it. AND NOW I'M NOT HAPPY WITH IT. Ah well. I'm still on the optimistic side today, considering I finished the chapter I had wanted to finish.

:3

Have a nice day, thanks for the reviews on other stories, and thanks for reading! 8D


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